Introducing Lucy B. ... "In Your Own Words"

Lucy is a survivor of horrible abuse at the hand of her father - Her poem is below. It is a TRUTH for many teens out there. Our parents are supposed to protect us, show us how much they love us. But not all of us are that lucky.

I am a firm believer in the mindset that NASTY things come into our lives to strengthen us for something we will need to be strong for in the future. Maybe Lucy will be a teacher someday and a student on the verge of suicide will confide in her and tell her secret. Lucy will be able to honestly say, "I KNOW how you feel. Let's get through this together."

If you consider yourself a SURVIVOR of ABUSE - you are also a future HERO in someone else's life. Stay strong and reach out. You will be used for BIG things and you may just save a life!

And now I will give the floor to LUCY...

 I sat there weeped,
There was nothing I could do.
The family sleeped,
But not I.

...I listened for hours,
Not knowing what to do.
My tears came in showers,
But nobody cared.

I lay in bed at night,
Trying to ignore it all.
I still shivered with fright.
But nobody knew.

The abuse just kept on going,
I know it wasn't to me.
But as a witness,
It's just as bad.
All you hear is shouting,
The madness never-ending.
Never-ending...never-ending.

But then I found help,
The help was my voice,
I shouted and yelped:
'This is killing me. Let. Me. Go!'

And then they came,
The police,
The colour from my face, oh how it drained.
What had I done.

What would he do?

Thanks Lucy B. for sharing.
If you have a poem, story or rant to share please email it to saylorsays@yahoo.com

Introducing Kelsi Jo... "In Your Own Words"

I am so excited to announce the "In Your Own Words" segment of the Saylor Says blog! So excited!

Basically, if you want to share a piece of yourself in words this is the place. You can rant about something, write out a dream, describe your hopes, write some fiction or give your thoughts on any subject under the sun (that applies to teens, of course)!

I found our first FEATURED TEEN on FACEBOOK! I had posted a CALL for WRITERS in my status and before I exhaled, she had commented and wanted to know if she could send me something she had written.

It was fate because this girl is going to write for a living one day and now she can say she is published! The world wide web can come read her words! How very cool! She's got her 15 minutes of fame, although if she keeps writing, she will have many more minutes coming her way.

So, without further ado, I introduce you to:

KELSI JO!
"my name is kelsi jo i'm a reader and writer i also do ballet. i love music, i laugh 99% of my time, i have red hair"

"i knew i was dreaming, which was weird because i never dream. Just a black hole. I was walking down an archway, the doors were all lined up and closed. Then they flew open. I wasn't surprised or scared, i was curious at the least. Each room was different, one was plain white. Another had a bad tv reception. It also had a girl who was holding her head, like she had a horrid headache. As i reached the end of the doors, the floors started beating, like there was a heart growing underneath the tiles. The beating started pulsing off the walls. A small figure was forming in the wall, like a shadow. It moved around in a circle. Soon i ignored it and moved forward, but instead i moved backwards, arms stretched out on either side of me. A tear escaped my eye and traveled down till it started making a puddle on the floor. And my mouth tried to make the words come out like it has tried so many times before. i cant speak, i locked up all my words....."

How many of you have ever felt like your words were all locked up? What made you panic? Was it a memory? Was it the possibility of humiliation? Was it fear?
Feel free to comment and "in your own words" write something about being "locked up..."

** RULES for commenting on "In Your Own Words:"
These words are not only written but OWNED by the author. Your comments must be respectful and positive.

"What YOU say..." (TEEN ONLY) writing contest...

Can you write their story in 50 words or less?

Try your hand at it and leave your story in the comments section below.

The winner will receive a THREE DAY pass to post on "Saylor says..." You will be able to choose from a list of topics. You can post all three days on the same topic or do a different topic each day.

If you want to email me your story instead, send it to saylorsays@yahoo.com

I can't wait to read them!

xoxo

For Children Who Were Broken : A Poem by teen Elia Wise

For Children Who Were Broken
by Elia Wise
For Children Who Were Broken
it is very hard to mend......
Our pain was rarely spoken
and we hid the truth from friends.
Our parents said they loved us,
but they didn't act that way.
They broke our hearts
and stole our worth,
with the things that they would say.
We wanted them to love us.
We didn't know what we did
to make them yell at us
and hit us,
and wish we weren't their kid.

They'd beat us up and scream at us
and blame us for their lives.
Then they'd hold us close inside their arms
and tell us confusing lies
of how they really loved us --
even though we were BAD,
and how it was OUR fault they hit us,
OUR fault that they were mad.
When days were just beginning
we sometimes prayed for them to end,
and when the pain kept coming,
we learned to just pretend
that we were good
and so were they
and this was just
on of those days ...
tomorrow we'd be friends.
We had to believe it so.
We had nowhere else to go.
Each day that we pretended,
we replaced reality
with lies, or dreams,
or angry schemes,
in search of dignity ....
until our lies
got bigger than the truth,
and we had no one real to be
Our bodies were forsaken.
With no safe place to hide,
we learned to stop
hearing and feeling what they did to our outsides.
We tried to make them love us,
till we hated ourselves instead,
and couldn't see a way out,
and wished that they were dead.
We scared ourselves by thinking that,
and scared ourselves to know,
that we were acting just like them --
and might ever more be so.
To be half the size of a grown-up
and trapped inside their pain....
To every day lose everything
with no savior or refrain...
To wonder how it is possible
that God could so forget
the worthy child you knew you were,
when you had not been damaged yet ...
To figure on your fingers
that the years till you'd be grown
enough to leave the torment
and survive away from home,
were more than you could count to,
or more than you could bear,
was the reality we lived in
and we knew it wasn't fair.
We who grew up broken
are somewhat out of time,
struggling to mend our childhood,
when our peers are in their prime.
Where others find love
and contentment,
we still often have to strive
to remember we are worthy,
and heroes just to be alive.
Some of us are healing.
some are stealing.
Most are passing the anger on.
Some give their lives away to drugs,
or the promise of like beyond.
Some still hide from society.
Some struggle to belong.
But all of us are wishing
the past would not hold on
so long.
There's a lot of digging down to do
to find the child within,
to love away the ugly pain
and feel innocence again.
There is forgiveness
worthy of angel's wings
for remembering those at all,
who abused our sacred childhood
and programmed us to fall.
To seek to understand them,
and how their pain became our own,
is to risk the ground we stand on
to climb the mountain home.
The journey is not so lonely
as in the past it s been ...
More of us are strong enough
to let the growth begin.
But while we're trekking
up the mountain
we need everything we've got,
to face the adults we have become,
and all that we are not.
So when you see us weary
from the day's internal climb ...
When we find fault
with your best efforts,
or treat imperfection
as purposeful crime ...
When you see our quick defenses,
our efforts to control,
our readiness to form a plan
of unrealistic goals ...
When we run into a conflict
and fight to the bitter end,
remember ...
We think that winning means
we won't be hurt again.
When we abandon OUR thoughts
and feelings,
to be what we believe YOU
want us to,
or look at trouble we re having,
and want to blame it all on you...
When life calls for new beginnings,
and we fear they re doomed to end,
remember...
Wounded trust is like a wounded knee--
It is very hard to bend.
Please remember this
when we are out of sorts.
Tell us the truth, and be our friend.
For children who were broken...
it is very hard to mend.

Send me your poems, thoughts, short stories and I will share them... anonymously if you choose.

xoxo

"Dear Saylor, my brother is driving me crazy!"

Dear Saylor,
My brother and I have always gotten along but recently something has happened and I can't explain what...
we seem to be driving each other crazy


he annoys me on purpose
he embarrasses me @ school


he says I try to embarrass him at school
he says I don't laugh when he's trying to be funny just to make him mad


What can we do? I hate arguing and being frustrated all the time!
:[
Frustrated and Tired


Dear Frustrated and Tired,
Wow! Do I totally get your drama! I have a sister, who I have to admit, I have annoyed ON PURPOSE! But she has done the same to me, too.

I am really big on lists!
Somehow, writing a problem down and actually seeing it in front of you instead of it just floating around in your head makes it easier to attack. So, obviously you two have had the "you are driving me crazy" conversation before. You are both, basically, in the same boat. You are annoyed and want it to stop! Being at the same level of frustration is really good in this situation b/c you both can agree something needs to be done. Sometimes getting the other person to see THAT part is the hardest part of fixing something - you have 50% done already!

My suggestion is for you two to sit down and make a list:

• Start with something like, "Grab a pen and come to the table - we need to create some peace!"
• YOU make a list of everything you wish he wouldn't do (only things that RELATE to your relationship...not that you wish he wouldn't comb his hair like Justin Beiber)
• Have HIM make the same kind of list
• Set a time limit or preface the list with "your top 5"
• When your list is done, let the youngest person go first and explain each thing
• Explain what it is that he does, why it drives you nuts, what he could do to make it better
• Switch and let the other person go
• BIGGEST RULE: When it's YOUR turn, HE DOESN'T SPEAK! When it's HIS turn, YOU DON'T SPEAK!
• When you have both shared, hand over the list to the other person and have a conversation, taking turns, about each item. What is fair, unfair, etc. What you would agree to do, not do...
• When you have both been productive and you feel you have solved the issues, SIGN each other's list. This is now a CONTRACT. You agree to TRY to make it better, to the best of your ability.

**Have a parent/adult present to keep conversations on track and diffuse any tempers. Guidance counsellors are GREAT at playing referee and most would be happy to help!

**Make sure everything is safe, if he wants to be able to share what he knows about your boyfriend with you, let him. It is in a sibling's nature to PROTECT. That will come in handy sometime!

Let me know how it goes!
Here's to hoping there is more PEACE for the HOLIDAY SEASON in your house!

xoxo

*
If you need advice you can always send an email to saylorsays@yahoo.com and I will respond with some tips and ideas. I will NEVER post your question online without your permission first. Your emails are confidential!! If I think your question and my answer would be beneficial to other teens, I will ask you if I can post it here. You always have the right to say no and I would NEVER break your trust. Pinky promise!

In 255 characters or less define the word LOVE in your OWN creative way! (might use it (*names changed*) in a book I am writing!

In 255 characters or less define the word LOVE in your OWN creative way! (might use it (*names changed*) in a book I am writing!

Answer here

Dangerous Minds: Pro-ana website WARNING!

Unfortunately society dictates what is glamorous.
Unfortunately a "normal" weight doesn't always fit that bill.

Last night while flipping through the channels, I landed on the Victoria Secret Fashion Show. Gross!

(if you look closely at the contents on the box above, you will notice it is actually possible to see most of the models' internal organs through their gaunt, stretched skin that if unzipped could easily fit a healthy 8 year old)

EW.com (which coincidentally stands for Entertainment Weekly but I think is appropriate in this case as "ew!") reviewed the event complete with clips from the evening affair. I thought some of the comments were TERRIFIC so I wanted to share them here:

"mac" said:
The fact that people watch this display pretty much seals the fact that civilization is more or less on the same level as barbarians of thousands of years ago. More than the fact that it offensive to anyone with a conscience, its actually pretty stupid too.

"voice of reason" said:
This just in… Books still exist, and unlike this display of unapologetic garbage, they can still have a positive impact on society. If people stopped shopping there and actually watching this sad excuse for entertainment, it really would go away.

And we wonder why girls HATE the bodies they are in? I can honestly say I will NEVER purchase ANYTHING from this store. I believe it is partially responsible for the BODY DYSMORPHIC issues girls are trudging through!

Body Dysmorphic Disorder is a serious issue!

What makes the beautiful reflection in this mirror unappealing for you?
Since when is "healthy" unattractive?
This is so sad.

Be aware of websites that continually support eating disorders. These websites are "how to" libraries and message boards for anorexics, bulemics and those wanting to "train with the best." The best? More like training with the DEAD... because MANY who struggle with eating disorders are covered with 6 feet of dirt before they exit their "glorious" teen years!

@teenvoices has an awesome interview with Megan Craysord-Noble, a 17 year old from England who formed the Fight to Live Campaign to raise awareness of eating disorders and as a response to those pro-ana and pro-mia websites that showcase Anorexia and Bulemia as a lifestyle choice!

I won't even leave links to these sometimes hard to find sites. 'Power in numbers' and 'misery loves company' breathes life into these illness-infatuated sites and they are inhabited with girls who need help to heal not assitance in mass suicide.

Eating disorders are INCREDIBLY curable. I am living proof! I totally "get" the photo above... difference is, what I used to think was beautiful (the skin and bones) is now nauseating and what I thought was nauseating (the healthy reflection) is now beautiful!

If you are struggling to see yourself in a healthy way - there are alot of places to go for help!

ANAD

Healthy Place

All About Life Challenges

You were created to be vibrant, to breed strength, to change the world! You can't do that with your finger down your throat.

Grab a marker and head to the nearest mirror. Write words of affirmation all around the halo of your reflection. Things that you ARE, not things you want to BE.

good friend, animal lover, reader, artist, singer, caring, supportive, good listener, friendly, giving, motivated, athletic, etc.

Let THESE things define you! Let those words there...and SEE them as a PART of you everytime you glance in the mirror. THOSE internal things are what make you who you ARE! Not a stupid number on a scale! You are loved!

And as always, I am here for you to chat, vent, whatever you need. Don't give up. Promise me you won't give up!

Check out this book for a slap in the face honest life of Lia, someone who suffers like many of us who struggle with self-image.

xoxo